“The Gospels clearly describe the fatherly responsibility of Joseph toward Jesus. For salvation-which comes through the humanity of Jesus-is realized in actions which are an everyday part of family life, in keeping with that ‘condescension’ which is inherent in the economy of the Incarnation. The gospel writers carefully show how in the life of Jesus nothing was left to chance, but how everything took place according to God’s predetermined plan. The oft-repeated formula, ‘This happened, so that there might be fulfilled…,” in reference to a particular event in the Old Testament serves to emphasize the unity and continuity of the plan which is fulfilled in Christ.’” ~ Apostolic Exhortation “Redemptoris Custos”
As St. John Paul expressed in his Apostolic Exhortation on St. Joseph, great care was taken in the conception and creation of the Holy Family: “Hence the family has the mission to guard, reveal and communicate love, and this is a living reflection of and a real sharing in God’s love for humanity and the love of Christ the Lord for the Church his bride.” In the boyhood of Christ, everything went perfectly: with the Blessed Virgin as His Mother and the Saintly Joseph as His devoted foster-father. Yet, because of Man’s fallen nature – other families are far less than perfect; the “mission” of the family fails, and the gift of love becomes corrupted or never materializes. Hence, the centrality of the family, with the ultimate example being the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and, as the highest source of holiness in its representation of the Blessed Trinity – every family contains the same potentiality for greatness; consequently, those that are sick and dysfunctional also have the opposite capacity for destruction.
These sorts of dysfunction in families are far from genetic – as bad parenting skills are not inborn, but learned; or, more precisely – a matter of a failure to learn. Sadly, everything always gets passed on to their children – including homosexuality. Nevertheless, although gay allied scientists have spent years trying to find the elusive non-existent homosexual gene, in fact, studies involving identical twin brothers in which one sibling is homosexual: only in 10% of those cases is the other brother also homosexual, what I have personally found: that which plainly appears to draw many homosexuals together into a community of shared sorrows, is the similarity in upbringing. Oftentimes, though not in their generation, but in just the previous one, many gay man and women have uncles and aunts, or other relatives, who were or are homosexual. Part and parcel with the appearance of homosexuality in a family tree is also a frequent incidence of physical and or sexual abuse, incest, suicide, alcoholism, drug addiction and porn addiction.
While the child, who later becomes a homosexual, may not be the direct victim of violence or neglect, still the spirit of disorder is always present in these families. To the observer, the whirling disorder in many homes of homosexual children comes as a shock: as these families often put forth a significant front of required normality. What holds the façade together is a forced code of secrecy: a sort of conventional dullness that refuses to acknowledge the unpleasant. Then, in the affected joy of a son or daughter’s “coming-out,” the failings and the horrors of the past are quickly forgotten. In a very real sense, a child’s homosexuality can comfort the parent: for, they discover solace in acknowledging that their child was always this way – after all, it had nothing to do with me. Subsequently, the parents of gay children have become the most militant apologists for the homosexual cause; when I speak in public: most of those entrenched in the lifestyle refuse to listen, but their parents are the most offended. Although I rarely if ever discuss the causes of homosexuality, still – when confronted with the often ugliness of the gay lifestyle, they lash out – because, deep down, they know who sent their kids to that hell. Yet, everything remains in darkness; and a wash of meaningless pleasantries fills every meeting with their son or daughter; they never ask if he or she is truly happy, because, they don’t want to know.
St. John Cassian wrote: “…penetrating the dark shadows of our vices with the most pure eyes of our soul, we shall be able to expose them and to bring them into the light, and we shall be in a position to disclose their causes and natures both to those who are free of them and to those still under their sway.” Only, in those dysfunctional families where homosexuality has been allowed to flourish – the momentum that keeps the disorder active is that exact avoidance of the darkness: it’s a sick pretending that all is bright and lovely. Then, in their unwillingness to face the truth – they perpetuate the lie: children remain in a lifestyle that they neither wanted nor asked for. But, most of the time, the shear appearance of happiness and normalcy is more important than the reality. This is why healing from homosexuality must take place on an individual level, but also on a wider plane which includes the entire family.
Any effort at healing must entail a double-sided approach: one that is psychological as well as spiritual. Many of the professionals on the Catholic Therapists web-site can help: (http://www.catholictherapists.com) But, this is incomplete without the spiritual direction of a well-qualified priest; especially one that specializes in deliverance and or exorcism.