“My first sex-club venture inadvertently exposed a dirty, but far from secret, reality within the gay community: the constant need for young new recruits. Since the gay population cannot naturally reproduce itself, they rely on those entering the lifestyle to renew their always aging and dwindling numbers. My first lover in the bathhouse was a man from another generation. As it goes, older and experienced gay men will almost always initiate the young and naive into the world of gay sex. The cerebral orderliness by which many of these older men go about their task tends to take on a strange ritualistic aspect. This storyline narrative is a mainstay in gay porn.
For the young, having their first experience done with, the broken- in neophytes then enter the gay community to mingle with others of their own age. The cycle plays over again, when everyone gets older. Then, those, who are no longer a beloved boy, must seek out fresh meat; and now the sought becomes the seeker. The procedure is sickeningly vampiristic. The young draw some imagined male power from their partners during an inaugural sexual encounter, while the older males feed off the youthful innocence and vigor of the new converts…”
From me own experiences (see excerpt from my book above), a rather solid factual truism in gay culture is the phenomena of younger men, especially those new on the scene, to immediately pair up with older lovers. A lot of this has to do with a “daddy complex” or father wound found in many homosexual men; Richard P. Fitzgibbons, M.D. expertly summarized the psychology at work here: “Many men will engage in extremely promiscuous homosexual behavior in a frustrating unconscious attempt to fill the childhood and adolescent craving for father love.” Although clearly irrational, the rush of acceptance instantaneously received by any boy going into the gay world, at least, temporarily, seems to feel the void. And, to a kid who grew up alienated and always seeking masculine affirmations – suddenly, memories of being the wimp no one wanted around; of being called a sissy and a fag seem like a bad distant dream. Finally, we discover that there are men willing to hold us; most of the time – they are older; a Swiss study found that: “The median age at FAI [first anal intercourse] fell from 24.5 years among men born before 1965 to 20.0 years among those born between 1975 and 1984. In each birth cohort, between 20 and 30% reported a partner 10 years older or more.”1 Yet this sense of superficial healing all comes at a price: “…the risk of infection doubled if the participant had sex with men who were older than 30 years and with men who were (approximately) their same age.”2 For those who have long suffered and grown desperate, like every demonic invention, homosexuality at first appears as the ultimate answer; later, the payback is enormous.
1. First anal intercourse and condom use among men who have sex with men in Switzerland.
Balthasar H1, Jeannin A, Dubois-Arber F.
Arch Sex Behav. 2009 Dec;38(6).
2. A Major HIV Risk Factor for Young Men Who Have Sex With Men Is Sex With Older Partners
Brian J. Coburn, PhD and Sally Blower, PhD (J Acquir Immune Defic Syndr 2010; 54:113–114)