“…the assumption that monogamy is the foundation to a successful relationship is far from universal among gay and bisexual men, and may in fact be a minority opinion.”
A large survey of 4215 gay and bisexual men, conducted through gay dating sites and Facebook in Australia, has found that previous surveys may have overestimated the proportion of gay men who are in emotionally committed relationships, and in monogamous ones. Furthermore it found that these categories were not at all the same thing: a large proportion of men describing themselves as ‘being in a relationship’ also had partners outside the relationship: “Monogamy may mean that the couples are in an exclusive relationship or it may mean that they have an agreement about including others in the partnership. Some gay couples describe monogamy by ‘degrees’ and maintain that its true definition is up to the couple.”
Major findings:
Although the majority (52.6%) of men surveyed considered themselves to be in a relationship, most of those were so-called “open” relationships (73.4%) – 38.6% of the total sample; a much smaller minority (26.6%) had a monogamous agreement – 13.9% of the total sample.* The rest of the sample (47.4%) reported a somewhat complex system of regular and casual “f##kbuddies” where relationship boundaries and condom us are negotiated. In addition: “Over a third of men who considered themselves in a relationship with their regular partner, and over a quarter of those with just one regular partner, reported that after they had sex with someone else, they and their regular partner then had a three‐way involving the both of them and the other man.”
* This figure represents merely those “gay” men who self-reported “monogamy;” whether or not they actually practice “monogamy” is a matter of debate; for instance: “Young gay men appear to be more inclined to monogamous, short‐term partnerships. Commonly, this is described as ‘serial monogamy…’”
This study completely supports all of the contentions I made in my previous article:
“I Was The Other Man: An Insiders Look At Why Gay Marriage Will Never Work”
https://josephsciambra.com/2015/04/i-was-other-man-insiders-look-at-why.html
Link (Warning: contains coarse language) to Australian survey:
https://www.nchecrsurveys.unsw.edu.au/monopoly/_assets/Monopoly%20Report%20%28FINAL%29.pdf
I appreciate the time and effort you put into researching all of these very fine details. You have laid out the facts so carefully on this website. The information is right here for anybody that takes time to look deeper! You are fighting a good fight, Joseph! Don't give up!